BUILD RELATIONSHIPS

LOVE  LOVE LOVE

One of the common pitfalls of leadership is focus.  As driven people, when we are given an area of responsibility or authority we all naturally start planning, setting goals, and moving forward.  The problem is that we have set our focus on the wrong thing.  Let’s look at a target.  There is a bulls-eye that signifies perfection, or in our case success.  So, as leaders we have the tendency to make the project, event, or goal the center of that target.

The Bible says this about our focus; 1 Corinthians 13:2b “and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing…”  I have seen great visions fail, great purpose driven churches fold, great anointed men of God fade, all for the sake of the wrong focus.  As believers, christianity has encouraged a mentality that says that our focus should be self (a “me” mentality), and our source – people.  We have been wrong… As I look around our country, I see churches that are marketing for people and providing a place of “glimpses” of God.  The church was designed to be a disciple-making, people-loving factory with the purpose of spreading the love of God like fire.  Love is contagious and powerful.  Think about what LOVE has done for you…  Love is strong enough that it only takes one demonstration of His love to change a person into an acting love agent.  Love itself has power, because God is LOVE.

So back to our target analogy.  If we are acting in the “LOVE of God” then our churches should reflect it in focus and source.  God should be… the SOURCE of the church, not man.  Look at our teachings on the tithe.  American Christianity has placed tithe as “giving to the church”, instead of giving to God.  The tithe is not the church’s money, it is the obedience offering of man to God, we are simply the storehouse.  God is our source, and now man becomes our focus. Sound familiar?  Christ was focused on one thing… people.  He went about doing good, reaching and loving people.  The focus should not be the events or ministries, it should be the leaders and people we are reaching. Not the children’s ministry, not the worship team, but rather the people who are in the children’s ministry, and the volunteers on the worship team.  As a worship pastor, our mission is to have an incredible worship experience for God and the congregation, however we do this through focusing on the team and the people, not on the service We want PEOPLE to be drawn by the spirit to His presence.

Self becomes responsible for God becoming the source,and man becoming the focus.

All that to say that we are to make the focus developing those under us through a sincere relationship.  We are to LOVE them and FOCUS on them.  Some of you are really feeling a little weird about this, but trust me.  You will never regret this!

Practical Step 1:PERSONALIZED Strategic Communications

Take the time to communicate with your team, personally.  This is not a mass text, or a blanket email.  Instead it is purposeful recognition and communication.  How to do that?

***Schedule -  Place your habits of communication on your calendar.  Example; every monday send a personal email to 2 leaders, a text to 2 leaders, and personally call 2 leaders.  Then cycle them through the process.  If you have 12 people on your team you will have a purposeful, personal conversational communication with each person 26 times a year with that method.  All of that for only 45 minutes of your week.

***Note taking – When you communicate with your leaders, write down the conversation.  Take notes and have a central location to store the information.  This will help as you grow your ministry, as it becomes easy to reference and know what is happening in the lives of your leaders.

***All mediums  – Don’t be afraid of using technology.  It is a great way to communicate, as long as you keep it personal and purposeful.

Practical Step 2:  Maintain Authority (Best friend building doesn’t equal love)

***Doesnt require your whole day/life – Take short amounts of time out of your week for leader communication.  If you are spending a lot of time with a few of your leaders, then you will only have a few of your leaders… In other words, people recognize when they are being excluded.  Keep the relationships limited.

***Familiarity rules – I call this “keeping the mystery”.  Make sure that your leaders know and recognize your boundaries.  Our team realizes that family comes first, and that my wife comes before that.  That means that we often do not attend birthday parties, graduations, or weird family gatherings.  I can hear the fundamentalists freaking out right now.  Listen, they still get a thank you, a “happy birthday” call, purposeful interaction.  Instead of remembering it was  their birthday because they invited me, they get a call from me saying “happy birthday, so you are turning 29!  one more year and you are an old man”. (no worries, I am older than 30 myself…)  The point is that “standards” surrounded by “love” becomes an inspirational example.

***Authentic versus Transparent.  Those you lead don’t need to know your battle with offense with one of the singers, or your issue with your senior pastor.  In fact, they shouldn’t know.  Transparency is a farce.  It is an excuse to air out your personal laundry in the hope of being “liked”.  Instead, be authentic, simply be who you say you are.  Do what you say you do, be where you say you are going to be, and arrive when you say you are going to arrive…with a smile.  Authenticity is quick to apologize and admit wrong.  Authenticity is quick to build opportunities for success and hand off credit.  Authenticity is having integrity.